RE appt

I told Grouper about our results last night.  He reacted much as I expected, but when he said, "So, are you glad it's me and not you?", I didn't really know how to respond.  If he's feeling major guilt, he didn't tell me.  I asked him if he was ok with everything later on in the night once it had time to process, and he said that he is and that we just need to go to the RE now and see what he says.

Upon looking at his results a bit more closely, it appears that the sperm count on the first SA was good, but the one on the second SA was low.  And the problem that showed up on both is that his morphology (they use the Kruger's Strict Criteria, whatever that is) is low....around 1% .  I guess that anything below 4% can cause issues with becoming pregnant.  I have not really started researching what all of this means, because I'm afraid of what I'll find out. It says in the notes at the bottom of both SA result papers that possible reasons for the abnormal values is "dysfunctional germinal epithelium."  I don't know if this means that we'll be able to get pregnant with IUI or if we would have to do IVF to have a better shot.....does anyone know anything about this? 

I did read a bit about the effects of the surgery that Grouper had when he was around 4 or 5 on fertility.  Apparently when the surgery is performed before age 1, there are less chances of fertility issues.  If the surgery is performed after age 4, the risk of lower sperm count and other issues is much higher.  I don't know if Grouper's parents had a choice of when to do the surgery, because he was a child in the 70's, you know.  I am pretty sure that those types of surgery weren't as advanced then as they are now.  I don't know, it'll definitely been interesting to see what the RE says.  We are not able to get in to the RE until December 6th.  We also need to do a visit with a urologist, I think.  I'm not sure whether we should try to get a referral to do that before we go to the RE or not, my doctor said it was up to us. 

So I'm just processing information now and doing the waiting game. 

Part of me just hopes I'm pregnant this month and we won't have to think about this again for a while.  My boobs have been feeling heavier than normal when I get up in the mornings and my nose is sensitive, but hey, I may just have new puppy-mom radar because I can track down the smell of puppy accidents really quickly.  I'm 10dpo now, my temp is still high, but I won't know anything for a few days.  I'm not expecting it, that's for sure. 

Well, I'm rambling now.  If anyone knows anything about morphology rates and what the options are, I'd appreciate some information, no matter how scary it is.