Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Maybe I'm a pachyderm.

A pachyderm, according to wikipedia, is a thick-skinned animal (and God knows you need thick skin to deal with all this TTC bullschuester).  I have a new theory as to what my issue is.

I'm an elephant.

Yeah, that's right, a big fat elephant.

I look a lot like this one that "hid" from me at the zoo.

That's what I feel like doing a lot of the time....hiding.

Hiding from the pain of a miscarriage and month after month of negative pregnancy tests, hiding the truth from people, and hiding the fact that I'm worried we have "issues" with our ability to conceive a child.

And what really sucks is that elephants don't forget.

But see, there's yet another reason why I am comparing myself to an elephant. 

Elephants have a gestation period of 22 months.

I've got a whole theory worked out here, so stay with me....At this rate, that's how long it's going to take us from start to finish to get a baby (we're already on month 12 of TTC counting the MC blip, so say I get pregnant within the next two cycles, that adds 9-10 more months, which equals:


I'm a freak brilliant, right?


Can you see the worried look on my face?  I'd better tell Grouper to get his "trunk" a'movin!  Time's a'wastin!  :)

Yep, that's right, I'm worried.  And if this doesn't work out soon, I'm going to morph into this pissed off ostrich and kick anything that comes near me.

With the force of 800 pounds per square inch, bitches.


  1. Funny! and cute.. but also sad. I like how the elephant has a lot of wrinkles. IF has done THAT to me. Too bad I didn't get the long eyelashes along with.

    On the bright side, you could conceive in 10 days... and that's not too far off. :)

  2. Ooo, those lashes are lovely. I hope you pass them on to the bebe (leave the trunk up stream in the gene pool).

    I'm past 22 months total, at this point, so no elephant for me. Is there any creature with a 2+ year gestation? And isn't TTC lovely? It has honed my arithmetic skills in a way that timed drills in elementary school never could.

  3. Cute and funny, but I can hear your pain :-( I can't say that I know exactly what you're going through because we haven't started any family stuff yet, but heartache is heartache. I'm thinking of and praying for you guys!

  4. Funny. And sad. And so very frustrating. I hope that this month is it and you get some many of your worries answered.

    Is there even an animal that goes has 36 months of gestation?

  5. As the other said, funny and sad at the same time. I hope the 22 months work out for you.
    Also, I love the pictures. Are they all yours?

  6. CC, yes, they are all mine. I love taking pictures!

  7. Oh, FG. My heart goes out to you. I have faith that it will happen...if only I could predict when.