Monday, February 28, 2011

Fears and worries for my future child/children

There have been so many things in the news and on TV lately that have really gotten the wheels in my head turning about what life will be for my future child or children.

I know it might seem weird, but I think about this stuff a lot.  I already love the child that we'll someday have - so much. Ultimately just want my child to be HAPPY and to dream big and achieve everything that he or she will set her mind to.

I saw this show that Lisa Ling did called Our America: Transgender Lives.  It focused on children that were born as one sex but in their heads, identify as the opposite sex.  I find it so fascinating and I cannot imagine how hard it must be for the transgendered person and for the loved ones who are around to (hopefully) support them on their journeys to figure out who they really are.  I was so inspired by how the people on the show transformed themselves and were supported by those around them - but I can't imagine how it must have been for some of those people when they left the comfort of their own home and those around them who understood the situation and had to face "society,"  which is often cruel and judgmental.

I have seen shows about people who are gay and have no support from their families and many end up depressed, suicidal, and alone.  Others are totally accepted.  I think I would be able to accept any struggles my child would have and I would support anything, no matter what.  Especially since we're going through all of this to become parents.  But I worry constantly about my husband (as much as I love him, he's sometimes a bit old-fashioned and close-minded on things) because some of the comments he makes at times aren't as tolerant as they could be.  I'm sure that we'll have arguments and will have to compromise and meet in the middle, because the only important thing is that the child we have is healthy, happy, and feels loved and accepted. 

I know that situations like the ones I described above are extreme - but there are tons of everyday struggles that parents go through that I'm sure I haven't even thought about yet. Peer pressure, bullying, underage drinking, substance abuse, choosing friends, broken hearts, broken bones.......

I guess that once we're finally past this set of struggles, there will be a whole new set to conquer.  I never really thought about that until very recently.

But I CANNOT wait.


  1. I know - it's crazy to see the headlines and hear some of the stories out in the world today. I fear what the future holds for our children and what they'll have to deal with as they grow older, what struggles will be new to that generation vs ourselves. I just hope I provide a loving & supportive home where they know they can come to us about anything & everything.

  2. I've been thinking about environmental issues and the potential food crisis that scientists are predicting could come soon. What kind of world are we leaving for them? How will they survive it?

    There are so many challenges parents face. As much as IF and loss SUCK and I wish neither of us had to go through them, I do think they are preparing our hearts to be parents in a way that just isn't possible for those who fall into this easily.

  3. So interesting that you wrote this, C and I had a conversation a few weeks ago that was similar. Like your husband, mine isn't as tolerant as he could be and I told him that no matter what, he will be supportive and accepting of our child.

    I haven't begun to think of all the different difficult situations that could come up - it's scary to think of it all. But like sloper said, having gone through all of this to get there will make us so much more prepared to deal w/ what will arise.