Friday, July 16, 2010

Being "realistic" vs. being "negative"

When you've been TTC for as long as I have (yes, I realize it's been just over a year, it could be worse), it starts to become really difficult to recover after endless disappointing cycles when hopes have been riding high.

Lately I've just been telling myself, "I'm not pregnant," or, "we didn't time it too well this month," or, "I'm not going to get pregnant any time soon....why would I have any reason to think otherwise?"

Grouper says that my negative attitude probably isn't helping matters much...that I have to think positively in order to get good results.

Ha.  Easy for him to say.

I, on the other hand, don't think of my attitude as being negative, I think of it as being realistic....because for the past 13 months, that's been the reality--I've been unable to get pregnant (or when I did, I didn't stay pregnant).

Looking at this fact with a realistic perspective, in my opinion, is a hell of a lot easier than thinking that I'm pregnant every single month and getting all hopeful, only to crash and burn once my period shows up.

I told Grouper the other night that if I just automatically expect the worst to happen, maybe I'll eventually be pleasantly surprised and proven wrong.

I don't see that as negativity at you?

Post script:
I mentioned in this post on my other blog that we're FINALLY going to be moving back to Michigan in the next week and a half or so.  Since I've known that this is really going to happen -- which has been for about a week now-- I've had three different people come up to me and say something about how I look so well-rested or so refreshed or so relaxed or something along those lines.  People NEVER say that sort of thing to a matter of fact, it's usually the opposite.  I'm often told how tired I look.  I'm taking that as a sign that the stress is finally on the way out of our lives.....and that can only lead to good things. It's like a weight has been lifted. Look at me....I was almost positive in those last couple sentences!  :)

I'm at 6dpo right now, and as I suspected, FF finally moved my CH to day 15.  We'll see where this cycle takes us.  In the meantime, excuse me while I move back to the U.S.  :) 


  1. I think that your attitude is totally normal, and i don't think that it will matter one way or the other in whether you actually get pregnant (most people get pregnant without even trying, let's face it, so obviously 'thinking positive' has no part in the process. I am 100% positive that you will get and stay pregnant soon, but I agree that obsessing over every cycle will not really get you anywhere.

    I am glad you are feeling happy and un-stressed, and have a fun move (I LOVE moving). Hopefully this will be your month so you'll have an excuse to not lift any heavy furniture ;).

  2. Gidget, I do the same thing. I tell myself I'm not pregnant because given the data sample I'm working with, I'm probably not! And at this point, it's all about minimizing the pain of crappy failed cycles until we start medical treatment.

    I hope we are both happily and pleasantly surprised soon.

    Congrats on the move and welcome home!

  3. I do that, too. But at the same time, I find it annoying when H says that we're "probably not" pregnant this months. So perhaps this is were Grouper is coming from?
    Good luck for the move! Maybe the reduced stress helps?

  4. Maybe the huge stress-reliever of moving back to the states will help.

    You're just being realistic. It's ok!!