You might be TTC if.....

I was in elementary school when the Jeff Foxworthy "You Might Be a Redneck if..." craze hit. I was obsessed with it....I had books, CDs, and I liked to watch his stand-up on Comedy Central. My personal favorite one was, "If seeing a sign that says Say No to Crack reminds you to pull your jeans up......you might be a redneck." Anyway, I digress. I'm going to do my own little "you might be TTC" list right now, and it all started because of a hilarious comment in an email from her this morning. I've seen a few of these around, but I'm going to put my own little spin on one for you.

If you see a HPT and feel the urge to pee all over it......you might be TTC. :) This was CF's comment this morning, I nearly fell off my chair laughing.

If you can't walk past a pregnant woman without pangs of jealousy and nearly having an anxiety attack....you might be TTC.

If the first thing you do in the morning is reach over and grab a thermometer and shove it in your mouth (or elsewhere)....you might be TTC.

If the words "mucus" and "ovulation" have become topics of daily conversation between you and your husband....you might be TTC.

If every little twinge, pain, food craving, or urge to pee is seen as a possible pregnancy symptom.....you might be TTC.

If the song "Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Buble puts a huge smile on your face every time you hear it....you might be TTC.

If you contemplate stealing "borrowing" newborn children of your friends and family just so you can inhale their newborn smell while sitting in a corner crying.....you might be TTC.

If you think shooting suppositories up in your girly business and giving yourself daily shots in the bum sounds like fun....you might be TTC.

If you're a royal bitch to everyone and their brother on Mother's Day....you might be TTC.

If your husband decides to do a min/max formula to calculate your ovulation day, but then finds he doesn't have to because he sees there already is one on your Fertility Friend page...you might be TTC.

If you begin referring to pregnant women and mothers as members of "the Dark Side" as a childish way to deal with your extreme jealousy....you might be TTC.

If you shudder when you see your husband clip his Blackberry to his belt out of fear that he is frying his swimmers....you might be TTC.

and lastly,

If you have sex scheduled for at least 2 weeks in advance......you might be TTC.

I know you all have things to add.......have at it!